August Goals (The Connection Project)

My little connection project is well underway. I've established a focus for August (my spouse) and set up a list of goals that I'll be doing my best to adhere to throughout the month. First off, I should state that there is nothing wrong with the connections I have now. My marriage is doing well, as are the relationships I'll be focusing on in later months. My aim with this project is to build on and strengthen the relationships that are most important in my life; I'll also be developing relationships that are not as established, in later months. So it's not "fixing" per se, but more like "making even better." Time seems to be passing so rapidly, and I want to take a year to get into the practice of being grateful for what I have; to celebrate, enjoy, appreciate, cherish. every day.

I have to admit, I'm really excited about the project. I love trying new things and I know that having daily goals will help keep me accountable. I am a relentless list-maker, and the practice of checking off completed items on a list gives me a sense of satisfaction. While the goals for August are not "new" and are things that really should be practiced daily anyway, by keeping them in the forefront of my mind, I'm hoping to be more aware of their presence and ensure that they happen. So what are the goals for August?

• Give 1 hug and 1 passionate kiss every day. This is a minimum, it can always be more than 1!
• Bite my tongue. I have become overly critical of my husband, and I hate it. Even the littlest of criticism I'll be doing to my best to keep to myself, or, even better, spin into a compliment.
• Ban harsh startup. Anyone that's read John Gottman's The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, will know what I mean by harsh startup. For those that haven't, harsh startup is essentially beginning a discussion in a negative way - with a criticism, in an accusatory tone, etc. It might be because one partner is angry or frustrated and an issue has been building. Or maybe he/she has simply had a bad day. Regardless of the reason, it virtually guarantees a negative outcome and is a marriage killer. I'm guilty of this practice from time to time and have witnessed its futility. Bye-bye harsh startup.
• Hold my head high. This one will be tough, but I've been practicing for a while and am getting better and better at it. My hubby is one of those people that will never back down from an argument; he will fight any fight, and hold to his beliefs no matter what. In many ways, this one of the things I love about him. He's passionate, loyal, and will always have my back. He would defend me, or anyone he cares about, to the ends of the earth. But being on the opposing side of that in an argument is beyond frustrating, and in the past I have allowed myself to get wrapped up in an argument with him when I know the best solution is to walk away and resume the conversation when we're both calm and adrenaline has settled.

In addition to the 4 goals above, I'll be focusing on keeping myself in the best condition possible. My relationship with my spouse is strongest when we're both healthy, well rested, and calm. For me, that means getting 7.5-8 hours of sleep every night, exercising daily (with at least 4 cardio sessions a week), eating clean (no grains or processed sugar, lots of protein and fresh fruits and veg), and avoiding alcohol and other potential stressors.

Changes at BSC!

It's no secret I've been absent from this blog for the past few months, with posts being sporadic at best. Well, that is all about to change, as I launch two exciting new projects today!

A Year in the Life of a Child with Type 1 Diabetes
This new project will feature a year's worth of photographs and anecdotes, documenting day to day life with type 1 diabetes. Similar to other "365" projects you might have seen before, different aspects of life with type 1 will be recorded. Each post will emphasize the positive aspects of living with type 1 diabetes, rather than the negative; the focus being a celebration of the things Dylan does WITH diabetes. In our house we don't let diabetes get in the way. Of anything.

I want others to know that this IS a manageable disease. It doesn't have to define you. And that life can still be totally amazing and awesome!

The Connection Project
For lack of a better name, the Connection Project is my own personal journey that I will post on from time to time. I recently read Gretchen Rubin's "Happiness Project," and was struck by how simple, yet effective, some of her ideas were. I love the idea of choosing an area of life to improve on each month, and then focusing on small, measurable goals, using a check and balance system for follow through. This speaks to my list-making self in so many ways. But while Rubin's purpose was to find more happiness in her life, my purpose will be on building connections and celebrating the people and values in my life that mean the most to me.

While still in the early stages of development, I have a rough idea of what my goals will be each month. The project starts today, August 1st, and this month's goals will all revolve around building connections with my spouse.

I'm super pumped to get underway!